Dear Baby Ike,
Today you turn four months old. I probably said the same thing last month, but still, it’s hard to believe that much time has passed since you were born. You are getting so big, and are very strong, though not quite so coordinated yet (of course). When you drink from a bottle you love to “help” whoever is feeding you by putting your hands on it as you drink, but a lot of the time you get very excited and end up mostly pushing it right out of your mouth, which of course upsets you greatly. I try not to laugh too hard about it, but you are one funny baby, in so many ways. You are ‘talking’ up a storm these days, cooing and laughing like crazy, and I believe in just the past few days we have heard your first consonant – a hard G. So as much as your father and I would like your first not-quite-real-words to be Mama or Dada, I think we better brace ourselves for it to instead be some version of Grandma/Granny. Or even Grandpa, as he has also been home with you during some of the days while Daddy and I are at work. He is teaching you all about football, which I know your dad will appreciate (I will get on board eventually if you show an affinity, I promise, but you’ll probably have to teach me!). Grandma continues to enjoy all the time she spends taking care of you – she even went out and bought a great little tummy-time mat with a tiny wedge pillow and some attached toys that seems to be greatly reducing your hatred for time spent on your belly. She even reported that you did a little scooting yesterday, which is great progress. You don’t seem like you are in any hurry to start rolling over, but I expect that to change shortly as well. Before long you will be partially independently mobile, and I’m not sure we are ready for that! You’re also nomming everything you can get your hands on; I’m hoping that doesn’t mean your first tooth is already imminent. Probably just your way of exploring the world at this stage, though I will have to keep an eye out to be sure.
You have not been sleeping all the way through the night as consistently of late, and while it does make for one tired Mama, I also savor those dark, middle-of-the-night, sweet moments with you. As you drift back off to sleep I get to hold you in my warm lap with your head against my chest, rock you a little, inhale the scent of your head as deeply as I can, and try to memorize the sound of your sleepy sighs. Because you are so active and aware while you’re awake these days, I don’t get as much cuddle time during daylight hours. So while in a few months I may reach a breaking point of sleep deprivation if your current pattern holds, for now I truly don’t mind waking up with you a few times every night. So long as they keep growing coffee beans, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one keeping that industry going, those quiet times with you every night will continue to be sweeter than the sugar I never remember to add to that morning coffee anymore. Not to even mention the half-and-half I haven’t had for months. It never ceases to amaze me how much being your mother has changed my life; I don’t miss all the little things that I used to think I could never do without nearly as much as I assumed I would. I fully admit to not wanting to leave you to go to work unless I’ve gotten a great big smile from you that morning, and while Daddy is always more than happy to have boys’ time with you so I can have a few hours to myself or with friends, I have no shame in telling people that I won’t make firm plans until I have seen that smile again, and can then leave knowing you’re happy, at least for the moment. Your very existence has given me infinite things to look forward to, and I know that life with you will only become more fun by the day.