Growth check ultrasound yesterday – all seems okay. I know that the measurements they take can be off, so I’m not completely freaking out that previously he was 30th percentile and this time only 26th (3 lbs. 5 oz.)…though I definitely am not overlooking it. I go back in three weeks for another growth check, and then every week for a biophysical profile, to include growth checks every other week. That’s all with the peri practice – not sure exactly how that will intersect with the NSTs that start on Tuesday with the OB/midwives. I plan to just keep showing up and try to not stress too much about any of it. I’m stressing and furious enough as it is with work stuff and general life-can-be-annoying-and-unfair (I cannot be the only one who wishes to be Canadian or European when it comes to healthcare costs and FMLA being unpaid, right?) stuff. I can usually quickly take some deep breaths and try to shrug it off, but damn if I don’t get RAGINGLY ANGRY first. I don’t blame it on hormones, but I definitely am feeling the weight of this becoming-a-parent-very-soon reality, especially financially. It’s so exciting…yet still completely terrifying. I know everything will work out, and we’ll be fine, but I just really despise the feeling of scraping to make ends meet. Makes me feel irresponsible, even though I know we’re doing the best we can for the circumstances.
So far we’ve taken the infant CPR class and the breastfeeding class. Tomorrow is the infant care class, then starting the second Wednesday in May, we have the four classes in the ‘birthing naturally’ series. We are FINALLY almost done painting (still need touch-ups and the closet door done) in the nursery, so I think Sunday we may even get to start assembling furniture. Then I can start washing clothes and prepping diapers (I am stupidly excited about cloth diapering – not that we won’t have some disposables on-hand, especially at the beginning) and organizing stuff.
Oh yes, STUFF! And lots of it. My family shower was last weekend, and it was amazing. My sister went all out with the jungle animal theme – everything was adorable and all the food and desserts were delicious. Mike and I drove up with my mom, so we only had room in the car to bring home some of the gifts. My sister will bring the rest next month when she comes down for the local friends/work people/Mike’s family/etc. shower. I’ll admit that all the stuff makes me feel a tiny bit more prepared, or at least somewhat less ill-prepared. I know that we’re in for a rude awakening, as all new parents are, and that it’s going to be harsh, with little sleep and much feeling like we have no idea what we’re doing. And I expect to be surprised by the intensity of it all, as well. I mean, if I feel overwhelmed now, clearly I am just warming up! Deeeeep breeeeeaaaaths.