Thirty-one & One

Growth check ultrasound yesterday – all seems okay.  I know that the measurements they take can be off, so I’m not completely freaking out that previously he was 30th percentile and this time only 26th (3 lbs. 5 oz.)…though I definitely am not overlooking it.  I go back in three weeks for another growth check, and then every week for a biophysical profile, to include growth checks every other week.  That’s all with the peri practice – not sure exactly how that will intersect with the NSTs that start on Tuesday with the OB/midwives.  I plan to just keep showing up and try to not stress too much about any of it.  I’m stressing and furious enough as it is with work stuff and general life-can-be-annoying-and-unfair (I cannot be the only one who wishes to be Canadian or European when it comes to healthcare costs and FMLA being unpaid, right?) stuff.  I can usually quickly take some deep breaths and try to shrug it off, but damn if I don’t get RAGINGLY ANGRY first.  I don’t blame it on hormones, but I definitely am feeling the weight of this becoming-a-parent-very-soon reality, especially financially.  It’s so exciting…yet still completely terrifying. I know everything will work out, and we’ll be fine, but I just really despise the feeling of scraping to make ends meet.  Makes me feel irresponsible, even though I know we’re doing the best we can for the circumstances.

So far we’ve taken the infant CPR class and the breastfeeding class.  Tomorrow is the infant care class, then starting the second Wednesday in May, we have the four classes in the ‘birthing naturally’ series.  We are FINALLY almost done painting (still need touch-ups and the closet door done) in the nursery, so I think Sunday we may even get to start assembling furniture.   Then I can start washing clothes and prepping diapers (I am stupidly excited about cloth diapering – not that we won’t have some disposables on-hand, especially at the beginning) and organizing stuff.

Oh yes, STUFF!  And lots of it.  My family shower was last weekend, and it was amazing.  My sister went all out with the jungle animal theme – everything was adorable and all the food and desserts were delicious. Mike and I drove up with my mom, so we only had room in the car to bring home some of the gifts.  My sister will bring the rest next month when she comes down for the local friends/work people/Mike’s family/etc. shower.  I’ll admit that all the stuff makes me feel a tiny bit more prepared, or at least somewhat less ill-prepared.  I know that we’re in for a rude awakening, as all new parents are, and that it’s going to be harsh, with little sleep and much feeling like we have no idea what we’re doing.  And I expect to be surprised by the intensity of it all, as well.  I mean, if I feel overwhelmed now, clearly I am just warming up!  Deeeeep breeeeeaaaaths.

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2 thoughts on “Thirty-one & One

  1. Mrs. Misfits says:

    I forget if you have had the NST already. If not, it's super easy going. Non stress part is right. I have my next growth scan Tuesday, and I know that I will stress about that number. I am thrilled that you are getting such good care right now. I wish that healthcare was better, too. For leave, I was fortunate to have doubled down in CA (which pays maternity leave partially) and had extra SDI. Pennsylvania will do nothing for me at all, so I'm also looking at our budget and wincing a lot these days. Congratulations on a successful and fun shower. You'll feel great when that nursery is done, too. We need to do a few things, but are close to being ready.

  2. Not yet! First one is Tuesday. They just said to "eat well" beforehand and bring water to drink, that I'd be on the monitor(s) for at least 20 minutes. At my old OB they said that if your NST was non-reassuring, then you'd be sent for a biophysical profile – I suppose they could still start them early, but like you said, I'm more worried about growth at this point. He's moving plenty, I'm pretty sure. I hope you get a reassuring number Tuesday! As usual, good for CA for being ahead of the rest of the country. I assume SDI is short-term disability insurance? They call it STD here, which cracks me up. Our policy sucks – $150 a week. Granted, it's better than nothing, but not by much! Thanks – you are getting close!!

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