No Joke

Ultrasound was good.  We got to see some cute thumb/finger/hand sucking.  He’s just over two pounds, according to the belly measurement (I think that’s what they use to estimate, anyway).  He’s head down (unless he’s flipped since Thursday…I’m still not sure I’d know, honestly), but he was face up.  Plenty of time still for him to spin around, I hope.  I mentioned that I’m switching OB practices, and they said that the new OB generally uses a different perinatal practice, so I may have yet another new doctor soon.  No shortage of opinions, I suppose.

We met with another potential doula on Friday evening.  I like her, she seems younger but has more and wider experience as a doula, and says she’d match the fee quoted by the first one we interviewed.  So we’ll probably go with her.  She seems a bit scattered – called at 5:30 looking for me though we’d agreed to meet at seven.  That threw me, but she says that her mother has been in the hospital and so they’ve been taking care of two houses, which is understandable.  I don’t get the feeling that it’s the kind of thing that would actually interfere with her being present when we need her to be.  There are a few other pros – she’s also an early lactation care specialist, and is working on a nursing degree with an eye on becoming a midwife.  I’m not sure if those things should outweigh the first doula’s midwife’s assistant’s training (at The Farm with Ina May Gaskin, in fact), but I have to admit that I find the high-collar, modest-dress, skirts-not-pants, Big-Love-type-hairdo thing a bit off-putting (enough hyphens for you?).  I can’t even put my finger on which religion that probably signifies (Pentecostal?), or why that should matter much when it comes to doula care, but…it makes me oddly uncomfortable, even though when I met with her she was perfectly friendly and very knowledgeable.  I think if I had not liked this second doula, I’d be perfectly happy to hire her, but…overall, I’m just more comfortable with the second, and Mike is, too.  Plus, she has a backup doula and an apprentice doula, so even if some unavoidable conflict would come up, we’d be covered – and I very well may get two doulas for the price of one.  Seems sort of like a no-brainer.  Maybe it’s just that I’ve never really been in the position of hiring anyone for anything, but I’m feeling weirdly guilty about my bias against the first’s implied social/political/religious values.  It’s definitely a prejudice, but I have to go with my gut here.  Thank goodness for email; at least I don’t have to say “you’re not hired” on the phone or in person, I guess.

What else?  Oh, we need to start registering for the childbirth education, breastfeeding, infant care, CPR, etc. classes.  I fear we are running out of time (not to mention energy and money) to get all of this, and the nursery (we have primer!) done before his arrival.  While I know that all the details don’t really matter, it somehow feels important – as if everything we can accomplish that’s baby-related drags me a bit further away from the disbelief that it’s finally happening for us.  Even as I sit here with him kicking away inside…I can’t believe we’ve been so lucky, that we’re really going to get to have a baby.  I think it may not fully hit me until he’s actually here.



5 thoughts on “No Joke

  1. Hope says:

    Sounds like you have found a winner with the second doula! And (as a former doula) I very firmly believe that personality fit and gut feeling are super important in choosing who you will have with you while you are in labor. Glad to hear that your LO is still going strong and you got to see some cute thumb-sucking-type stuff during your last U/S!

  2. Thanks, Hope. I think we made the right choice.

  3. Eh. Considering even the faint possibilities of some sort of Christian science "alternative" medicine practices, it's probably better to turn the sign to avoid. I find those are probably doubtful in this case, meeting with people tends to cut down on the prospects. But given that it's (fortunately) less regulated as a service, you should be forgiven for a level of caution as a consumer of services. A far better aspect is simply the increased level of comfort. Yes that's "prejudicial". Get over it. Everyone has preferences. And in point of fact that's pretty much what services are based around: finding people who provide them in a comfortable way for you, and avoiding people who don't. That would include doctors and doulas just as much as mechanics and accountants. Presuming that there's a possible disagreement on what the actual service would be because of differing opinions on appropriate medical/natural procedures and that this can be uncomfortable to deal with, such a prejudice is far more justified ethically than, say, "I didn't like this person because they were black/gay/christian". You shouldn't feel too bad about it. You're at it again with your "don't want to be an asshole" marker. 😉 Okay to put that down once in a while and let actual assholes tell you if you've done something assholish.

  4. LOL…well put. She actually did have some interesting takes on herbal remedies and such (like blackstrap molasses before resorting to an iron supplement – may try that yet, even though I went ahead and just started the pills), but I would draw the line at homeopathy or any other such nonsense. She also mentioned this Brewer diet thing – I looked into it and it's probably a perfectly sound plan for eating while gestating, but damn if that doesn't make me feel like an inadequate fat slob with no self control. Too much structure for my preference. So, yes, while I'll own my prejudice here, at least I did learn some stuff in the process!

  5. Nothing says you can't learn from others or listen to, and then disregard, their advice. Just less useful when you have to pay them to do so.

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