I hope I didn’t speak too soon in my last post. On Tuesday, the day after my last OB appointment, I got a call from one of the nurses saying that they want to repeat the cervical measurement in two weeks. Um, okay. I scheduled it for this coming Friday, a week from today. Since I’d mentioned the suspected contractions at the appointment, before the doc did the measurement she took a swab for fetal fibronectin, too. She said that if the measurement was good, she wouldn’t even send it off to the lab. Then, when she said that 2.5 cm is “within normal range,” I assumed at the time that she didn’t send it. But once I consulted the ever-wise Internet and then got that phone call, I’m wondering if a) she just didn’t want me to panic and b) she’s a liar and c) holy shit what if she sent it and the fetal fibronectin was positive? Would the nurse really just not tell me that when she called? I know lots of stuff can cause false positives on that test; it doesn’t necessarily mean that something bad is going to happen this week. I do still get a few contractions, and I hate not knowing if they’re Braxton Hicks or if they’re really starting something, but when you’ve never had either kind before, there’s really no basis for comparison. They’re not painful, really, and they’re not on top of one another, only a few to a handful a day, so I’m trying to think positively, that it’s just my body’s slow preparation for labor. But still. Eek.
On the other side of the coin, I was thrilled to hear that being on the heparin/aspirin is not an automatic disqualification for the hospital birth center I’d like to deliver at. Assuming I make it to at least 37 weeks (please, please, please), I can likely come off the meds at that point, presumably still being closely monitored by the peri, and have my crunchy granola natural birth. So, while I’m clearly keeping my scheduled appointments with my current OB, I’m also in the process of trying to switch to an OB-plus-midwives practice that will deliver at the birth center. Even if I don’t get to the birth center, I’m leaning more toward the hospital where the center is located, so I feel like it is a smart choice overall to switch practices. Both hospitals have a Level 1 NICU, but the one where my current OB would have me go has only been Level 1 since January, so…still best for both scenarios to switch, I think. I do feel like I’m playing both sides of my murky risk-coin here. No! I’m not high risk – let me deliver at the birth center! But YES, I’m high risk! Make sure my cervix is not being wonky!! But right now, I see no reason not to pursue both paths. The baby’s head was right on my cervix while she was trying to measure on Monday, so hopefully this Friday he’ll be slightly out of the way (oh, but don’t be breech, little dude!) and we’ll get a reassuring number, and move onward a little more confidently.
We are meeting a potential doula tomorrow morning. I have also sent out email inquiries to a few others, though some are not exactly in my price range (and some are far from it, OMG). At least one has said she’d be flexible, so if tomorrow doesn’t leave me feeling like I “click” with the first one, I’ll see if I can negotiate a similar fee elsewhere.
There are two showers scheduled, one late next month and one in late May, and a third will likely fall between the two (lots of family on both sides, plus apparently more enthusiastic coworkers than I’d ever have guessed). It’s exciting, yet…scary. The medical stuff I suppose I’m more comfortable navigating, as it’s been the only part I’ve been able to even pretend to control in this deal – take the pills, do the injections, research the options, etc. The social, celebration parts are different…it’s great, don’t get me wrong, but it still feels a little too normal to be real sometimes.