Sneak Peek

All is well.  The tech who did the ultrasound on Thursday seemed very pleased that she got so many measurements. We saw heart chambers, kidneys, various brain parts, mouth opening and closing under what she guessed to be an intact palate (could see both nostrils on the nose, which I gather is a great indicator), hands and feet, fingers and toes, and I’m sure I’m forgetting plenty.  Oh.  Yes.  PENIS!  

Still sort of wrapping my mind around that.  I had no expectations or preference or “feeling” about it beforehand.  It’s exciting.  I think it’s helping to be able to try and picture a baby boy.  I’m getting there, but I still fail when I try to imagine myself using the words “my son.”  WEIRD.  But delightfully so.  I even scored a whole tub of gently used newborn-to-six-months baby boy clothes on Freecycle.  I pounced on it especially hard when I saw that it was posted for pickup in one of the ritzier suburbs, thinking that it would probably be higher-end stuff, and I was not mistaken. Some of it is ridiculously cute.  Some of it not so much, but I’m sure we’ll channel Tim Gunn and make it work. Either way, there is a LOT of it, and it was all FREE.  I’m nowhere near washing and folding and organizing a nursery (furniture won’t be assembled until after we put down the flooring in a couple weeks and paint…sometime after that), but the fact that I even had the gall to respond to the post and say, YES, I WANT YOUR BABY STUFF, PRETTY PLEASE seems like a good step in the direction of believing this is yes, could very well end perfectly normally, with an actual take-home baby.  We’ve even talked about names, beyond what Mike has always said he wants for a boy…I am insisting that some alternatives be seriously considered, even though I do love the name he wants – it’s just a bit more popular than I’d like.  I don’t want to settle on anything yet, but we’ve definitely narrowed it down.  For now.  Even if we end up with one of our top two, I still want to spend time leafing through a Name Your Baby book alternately hmmm-ing and wrinkling our noses at the possibilities.
Anyhow, we still get to go back at 20 weeks for the full Level II anatomy scan.  They scared me for a second on Thursday, wanting a “closer look” at my cervix.  I totally laughed out loud when she asked if I’d ever had an internal ultrasound.  If I weren’t so freaked out thinking that they thought they were seeing shortening or funneling, I’d have squealed and clapped my hands YAY, MISTER WANDY!  But I was definitely freaking out.  Thankfully, the doctor said there was nothing of concern after all, just that they couldn’t get as clear a view as they wanted abdominally. Phew.  
Still checking for the his (!) heartbeat once a day.  Or more.  I won’t lie.  Very addicted to the Doppler.  I feel the need to make sure.  I am trying to pay attention for quickening (movement), but I don’t think I’m feeling it yet.  Sometimes if I can’t sleep I concentrate so hard on paying attention that I almost convince myself I’ve felt a bit, but I think it’s just wishful thinking so far.  Hard to tell, really, but from what I’ve read it sounds like when I do feel it, I’ll know it.  I should wait and be sure rather than trying so hard, lest I be one of those smug but mistaken pregnant women cherishing traveling gas bubbles thinking they’re kicks!

9 thoughts on “Sneak Peek

  1. mommyodyssey says:

    Yay! congrats on the boy! I still can't get myself to buy (or take free) baby stuff. But then again I've still got a good bit of paranoia. Isn't the doppler the best invention ever? I've only recently cut down to once a day, I don't blame you for the addiction.

  2. Hope says:

    I'm so glad your little one is growing well, with all his parts in place!

  3. Thanks, Mo! I know, the paranoia never ends, it seems. It's hard to let physical stuff be associated with getting our hopes up. As much as I'm trying to let myself enjoy the gifts and freebies so far, I have not actually purchased a single thing myself…and when I accept stuff I still have to cringe and imagine how quickly it could be disappeared if necessary. Just can't help it. And hell yes, I'd probably be the least favorite patient ever if I didn't have the doppler…would constantly be begging for live baby checks!Thanks, Hope! Us, too. I'm so sorry you're riding the roller coaster again….

  4. Mrs. Misfits says:

    Gas bubbles, check. I have no idea if I feel anything or not at 19+ weeks. Doppler has been about once a week and the new paranoia is not having any growth since the last scan in December. I am so thrilled that you had a full rundown on the little fella and you are totally on track to grab free baby stuff where you can. Cutting down on expenses is great forward thinking.

  5. Yep, seems like most don't feel it for sure until closer to 20 weeks. I know, since getting the low PAPP-A result, I'm scared of growth restriction that could happen well before viability. I think the weeks between 20 and 26 will be scariest for that, especially if I go that long without a scan!Thanks! I can't wait to hear about yours, too. I'm all about freebies – my second biggest fear is that our not-so-abundant resources are going to make this even harder than it naturally is, all other things being equal. I just try to remember that there are lots of very happy kids whose parents start off with way less than what we've got.

  6. Jenny says:

    Oh a baby boy! So exciting! Great news! And I promise to be more up to date on this from now on! xxxx

  7. Thanks, Jenny! Noooo big deal – I didn't write squat for so long, there was nothing to keep up on until recently anyway!

  8. Andrea M. says:

    Congrats on the healthy baby! And a little boy 🙂 I was so scared to have a boy– afraid I would warp him LOL.

  9. Thanks, Andrea! And LOL – I'm sure my kid will be warped, regardless of sex. There's a great line from some sitcom that's well off the air (I wanna say Friends, not sure)…"I love you and I wanna have babies with you and mess them up in our own specific, weird way."

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