Non-Icky Thumps

I am finally convinced that these little thumps are definitely movement.  It is weeeeeird, but very cool.  He seems to like sugar (duh), spicy food, and wine (shut up), among other things (unless of course he hates them, but let’s go with likes).  Good tastes, little man!  Thankfully I haven’t suffered heartburn (yet?  oh please no), so we’ll keep that spicy food experiment going as long as I can stand it.  Eventually this charming jabbing should morph into OMFG KID GET YOUR FEET OUTTA MY RIBS AND QUIT JUMPING ON MY BLADDER, but until then….awwwww.

So I pretty much screwed up and ruined the “surprise” for my dad.  He’d said that he didn’t want to know the sex…which I figured would be pretty impossible to keep up for the next five months, but he does have great powers of not paying attention, so…I tried.  And then quickly failed.  Oops.  We were talking about the tests and stuff they do right after birth (Vitamin K, eye ointment, heel stick, etc.) and my mouth was way ahead of my brain and the word circumcision slipped out (without even going into how I rolled my eyes when saying it because I may or may not think it’s barbaric and unnecessary and a really weird meaningless religious ritual to whack off parts of genitals and no I don’t think the purported health benefits completely justify it but no I don’t have a penis myself so maybe it’s not fully my decision?  Gah.  ANYWAY….)  Maybe his powers of forgetting will prevail, but I doubt it.  I feel bad, but…seriously?  How was that really going to work anyhow?  Maybe we’ll be really lucky again and can stay ignorant ourselves a second time around (I know, what a terribly greedy thought).

On the preparation/home improvement front, we finally said goodbye to our nasty old carpet.  Wheeeeeee!  There’s still plenty of finishing to be done, but the carpet is gone and has been replaced with some nice enough laminate.  I’m so over-the-moon happy to have an easy-to-clean, hard surface, even if it’s not the natural, sustainable bamboo or cork of my dreams.  Next up, hopefully soonish – registries and hospital tours.  YIKES.

Here, have some tunage (yep, that’s a word now, because I said so.  Or do you think it should be tuneage?) for your Tuesday:

(18w5d)

Sneak Peek

All is well.  The tech who did the ultrasound on Thursday seemed very pleased that she got so many measurements. We saw heart chambers, kidneys, various brain parts, mouth opening and closing under what she guessed to be an intact palate (could see both nostrils on the nose, which I gather is a great indicator), hands and feet, fingers and toes, and I’m sure I’m forgetting plenty.  Oh.  Yes.  PENIS!  

Still sort of wrapping my mind around that.  I had no expectations or preference or “feeling” about it beforehand.  It’s exciting.  I think it’s helping to be able to try and picture a baby boy.  I’m getting there, but I still fail when I try to imagine myself using the words “my son.”  WEIRD.  But delightfully so.  I even scored a whole tub of gently used newborn-to-six-months baby boy clothes on Freecycle.  I pounced on it especially hard when I saw that it was posted for pickup in one of the ritzier suburbs, thinking that it would probably be higher-end stuff, and I was not mistaken. Some of it is ridiculously cute.  Some of it not so much, but I’m sure we’ll channel Tim Gunn and make it work. Either way, there is a LOT of it, and it was all FREE.  I’m nowhere near washing and folding and organizing a nursery (furniture won’t be assembled until after we put down the flooring in a couple weeks and paint…sometime after that), but the fact that I even had the gall to respond to the post and say, YES, I WANT YOUR BABY STUFF, PRETTY PLEASE seems like a good step in the direction of believing this is yes, could very well end perfectly normally, with an actual take-home baby.  We’ve even talked about names, beyond what Mike has always said he wants for a boy…I am insisting that some alternatives be seriously considered, even though I do love the name he wants – it’s just a bit more popular than I’d like.  I don’t want to settle on anything yet, but we’ve definitely narrowed it down.  For now.  Even if we end up with one of our top two, I still want to spend time leafing through a Name Your Baby book alternately hmmm-ing and wrinkling our noses at the possibilities.
Anyhow, we still get to go back at 20 weeks for the full Level II anatomy scan.  They scared me for a second on Thursday, wanting a “closer look” at my cervix.  I totally laughed out loud when she asked if I’d ever had an internal ultrasound.  If I weren’t so freaked out thinking that they thought they were seeing shortening or funneling, I’d have squealed and clapped my hands YAY, MISTER WANDY!  But I was definitely freaking out.  Thankfully, the doctor said there was nothing of concern after all, just that they couldn’t get as clear a view as they wanted abdominally. Phew.  
Still checking for the his (!) heartbeat once a day.  Or more.  I won’t lie.  Very addicted to the Doppler.  I feel the need to make sure.  I am trying to pay attention for quickening (movement), but I don’t think I’m feeling it yet.  Sometimes if I can’t sleep I concentrate so hard on paying attention that I almost convince myself I’ve felt a bit, but I think it’s just wishful thinking so far.  Hard to tell, really, but from what I’ve read it sounds like when I do feel it, I’ll know it.  I should wait and be sure rather than trying so hard, lest I be one of those smug but mistaken pregnant women cherishing traveling gas bubbles thinking they’re kicks!
(16w4d)

Not the end of the world

So.  Hi.  Yes, it is apparently 2012.  Well into it, I suppose.  I sort of loathe those recap-and-look-forward-while-resolving type posts so…not gonna do it.  Suffice it to say that my 2011 started off as teh suck thanks to the way that my 2010 ended, but slowly worked its way around to ending up pretty damned stellar.  Thankfully.  But I haven’t forgotten how much the suck was the suck.  Lo, did it ever suck, and mightily.  I know so many people are still stuck in the suck (I swear I’m not trying to be Dr. Seuss with this), and I wish I could make the suck go fuck a duck.  I really do.

But, onto some things that don’t suck, I guess.  Finally got an appointment with the peri/MFM.  My OB says they should have called me a while ago.  Clearly, nobody told them that.  I still have no idea if my RE has spoken to any of the OBs in the practice or the peri about my medication plan, so I will not be surprised (though I will be irked) if/when I get there and they ask me, so why are you here?  Le sigh.  Whatever.  The nurse (tech?  receptionist?) who scheduled the appointment for me said they would probably do an ultrasound and some of the anatomy scan measurements, though they’ll still have me come for the full Level II at 18-20 weeks.  So that’s nice.  I won’t get my hopes up totally have my hopes up that we’ll find out the sex.  And, of course, that we don’t uncover any terrifying (or any, period) anatomical issues.  We’ve talked about names for both, but it still feels completely hypothetical somehow.  It doesn’t feel like we’re talking about naming a baby that’s going to come out of ME.  Sixteen weeks tomorrow, though, so I’m hoping to start feeling movement soon.  I think that will help…though it could still be another month before I feel anything.

Also not sucking…I get a massage tonight.  I hope it’s not one of those deals with the giant hole in the table for a giant belly to go through, both because I’m so not there yet and I have read that’s not the best way to do prenatal massage (should be side-lying propped with towels).  Anyway, it was a Groupon, purchased before I was pregnant, and I have been waiting and waiting to be out of the first trimester (when I called they said they actually ask you to be at least 16 weeks and I said TOO BAD CLOSE ENOUGH ALREADY) and for the holidays craziness to be over.  I really hope it’s worth the wait.  Ha.  There’s a motif for you.