Got a call from the peri with results from the first trimester screening. Mostly good. A tad worrisome, but I’m reserving freakthefuckout for necessity, which this is not. Yet, maybe. Anyway, first, the good:
- 1 in > 10,000 risk of Downs
- 1 in > 4,700 risk of Trisomy 13 or 18
But, of course, there has to be something. Low PAPP-A levels. I didn’t ask for the actual number, since I can get that from my OB next week if I want it then, I’m sure. She said not to panic, so I will do my best, that there’s still less than a 20% chance of complications…which include IUGR, low weight for gestational age, pre-eclampsia, and pre-term labor/delivery. Pretty much all my biggest fears after miscarriage and stillbirth. I realize it’s still more likely than not that everything will be perfectly fine, but I have a hard time finding comfort in statistics anymore. Miscarriage is supposed to be 1 in 4 or 5 pregnancies, and we already beat the pants off those odds (not in a good way, I should clarify, just on the off chance you’re brand spanking new around here). (I’m probably not framing that entirely correctly, mathematically. I’m the first to admit that I sort of hate stats and never grasped probabilities all that easily.) All I know for sure is that SOMEONE has to be the one in whatever unimaginable number they tell you. I’d like to think that it’s my turn to not be that someone, but I know it doesn’t work on a merit-based system; I don’t necessarily get credit for time served. In fact, I’d lean more toward thinking that past pregnancy failures increase chances for complications even in successful pregnancies. I haven’t googled all of this quite to death yet, and will still have to talk to my OB next Thursday of course, but right now I’m thinking that this points strongly toward staying on the heparin for the long haul. All of these complications are placenta-related. I of course don’t know the detailed mechanisms, but I’d still somewhat ignorantly theorize that blood clots could easily contribute to adverse effects on the size and efficiency of the placenta.
I guess the silver lining is that it sounds like I’ll be getting lots of ultrasounds. I’m sure my OB will have to confirm this, but the peri said detailed anatomy scan at 20 weeks, which I believe is pretty much standard for all pregnancies anymore, and then scans every four weeks until 32 weeks, and then every week until delivery. I question whether I heard that last part correctly, but I’m pretty sure that’s what she said. Not sure how I feel about that yet. Obviously, proper monitoring far outweighs whatever desire I had to get as close as I could to ‘normal’ with this pregnancy, but I guess I’m a bit bummed that it sounds like I’ll actually be a perinatal patient. I really kind of thought I would be back for the 20 week scan and that would be it. It’s a silly thing to be sad over, and I’m sure I’ll get over it quickly…I was just beginning to enjoy somewhat seriously considering working toward a natural delivery, maybe even one in a birth center (albeit a birth center AT a hospital; I’m not THAT brave slash foolish). Maybe I could still have these things…but maybe not. I’ve just been happy to be allowing myself to think that far ahead, that I’ve not been telling myself that I’d better not get greedy with thoughts of a live baby. It’s actually been remarkably positive thinking for me. I don’t want to backslide.