Weekly LBC

That’s Live Baby Check.  And, check!  Holy crap it really looked like a baby on the screen today.  I’m trying to use that word a lot…in writing at least.  I still find it hard to say out loud.  Babybabybabybabybaby.  I am having a hard enough time believing I’m really and truly actually pregnant (another word I struggle to use), and I know that at least 98% or so of the population naturally associates the word pregnant with the word baby, but damn I am blocked on that when I am myself the subject of sentences containing those words.  Don’t get me wrong, I am stupidly happy after these ultrasounds every week, but even right after seeing the baby (BABYBABYBABYBABY) on the screen I sort of feel like I’m overwhelmingly happy…for somebody else, or something.  Hard to describe, I guess.  I am choosing to believe that my brain will catch up in plenty of time…or at least in the nick of time.

Anyway, yes.  I’m nine weeks, five days today, and Cletus the Peanut measures 9w6d – a whole day ahead.  Which is awesome, so long as it stays that way.  I don’t know exactly how much variability in growth rate is normal, if any, but I would be unsettled to next time then measure right on or a day behind.  Whatever, I guess I shouldn’t worry about a hypothetical.  For now, all is grand.  Heart rate is 172 beats per minute, and we saw him/her moving around again.  Even rolled over and faced us at one point.  From that view we could clearly make out the head/face (not features or anything, of course, but still) and the forearms crossed over the chest.  So surreal.  Crown-to-rump length is 29.7 mm, so in theory somewhere between this and this.  By that measure, we are officially in fetus territory. Wow.

I do want to touch on some cluster of cells/embryo/fetus/baby distinction/semantics stuff…but that needs to be another post, another day.  Hoping today’s dose of reassurance will lead to sleeping like a rock, maybe even for more than the measly six hours I’ve managed to get lately when I’m lucky.  Also hoping that I will look back at that sentence come mid-summer and laugh at how spoiled I am right now.

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5 thoughts on “Weekly LBC

  1. Anonymous says:

    Oh wow! That is awesome. I will feel exactly the same way about the words "pregnant", "pregnancy", and of course "baby" when the day comes. I know exactly how you feel. The ultrasound I had on Monday wasn't terribly exciting. They could see a gestational sac that measured 6W. They were setting up the us based on my lmp, not when I actually ovulated. So no surprise that we didn't see what we were hoping for. I go back in 2 weeks. I'm still getting blodwork once a week so that I don't lose my mind! I'll keep taking the progesterone and low dose apsirin and pretending that I am pregnant – so no big alcholic drinks for me – although I really, really want one! :)Shanlee

  2. Thanks, Shanlee! Yes – it is weird, but I'm going with it. It's just me trying to protect myself, but I am trying to also not let it stop me from enjoying what I can with this….PREGNANCY. Heehee. Sounds like you are doing awesome! I'm glad they're giving you "mental health" betas – I almost kind of miss getting stuck in the arm…and I know how weird that sounds! I know – the first couple weeks I knew a glass of wine or a dark fall/winter beer sounded soooooooo good. At this point I'm pretty well past that…I just want Doritos all the time! But good strategy – "pretend" until it's not pretending anymore! Thanks for the update, keep 'em coming!

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  4. Congratulations on your progress! 9 weeks is a big step closer. I know how scary pregnancy after loss (PAL) can be.

  5. Thank you! Yes, scary is a word I've used so often I'm sick of hearing it come out of my own mouth. It's accurate, though!

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