Still alive!

Frankie is still kicking (well, not really kicking yet but you know).  Frankie?  I dunno.  Peanut?  That’s about the size s/he is (out of the shell, in my RE’s words).  Maybe we’ll just go with Lightly Salted.  I kind of like that. There is an inexplicable (I will try, but be prepared for it to make zero sense) episode from my childhood in which my dad brought home some airline peanut packets (yep, dating myself here) from a business trip for us (what a treat!), and something about the way he said the phrase ‘lightly salted peanuts’ was absolutely pee-your-pants hilarious to my sister and me.  Completely dissolved into fits of giggles.  For at least an hour, probably.

Yeah.  Nonsensical.

Anyway, the heart rate is up to 154 beats per minute and he/she/it is measuring 7w4d.  That’s only one day behind 7w5d by LMP, so I guess we could say s/he’s made up a day or two since last week.  Don’t know if that’s really the right way to think of that, but last time we measured 2 or 3 days behind based on LMP.  Seems like good progress! CRL is 13.35 mm, so looking something like this creepy thing or this maybe slightly less creepy thing.  If you really want a fright go back and check out Carnegie Stage 15.  Yikes!  Glad we’re past that and moving onto stuff like gonads and nipples.  Wheeee!

I am clearly still not quite grasping that this is, like, real.  I get to keep going back weekly until 10 or 12 weeks.    I think that will help, though part of me is going to continue to be terrified every time that the heartbeat will just cease to be there.  I have no real reason to think that will happen, it’s just that I know that it does happen.  I am very encouraged; this is definitely the farthest (furthest?  I hate that one) we’ve ever gotten – maybe not date-wise, but definitely signs-point-to-good-wise.  They said today that I’ll discontinue heparin and progesterone after the first trimester.  Progesterone, fine, yes.  At that point the placenta should be doing its job and I am fully aware that supplementing won’t prevent miscarriage anyway.  The heparin I think I may be nervous about stopping.  I never actually tested positive for APS, and was never tested for MTHFR, homocysteine levels being normal, so I have no concrete reason to think I should continue it, but…I can’t help but fear a rogue clot in the placenta or the umbilical cord or…whatever else worst case scenario I haven’t even come across yet.  On the other hand, I won’t miss the bruising.  Maybe by 15 weeks or so my stomach won’t look like it lost a bar fight anymore.  See?  I am thinking I will get that far, it’s just…weird to have these thoughts.  I never wanted to give up and not try at all, but it seems like my mind was trying to prepare more than I consciously realized for the possibility that it would never even get this far. It’s a strange yet perfectly logical dichotomy of sorts.  Trying to acknowledge it and leave it be, not poke at it too much. Also, they’ll back me off the metformin at some point.  I’m on the fence about that one, too.  Studies have gone both ways on whether it may actually help prevent miscarriage or not.  It has, however, been shown to reduce the incidence of gestational diabetes.  A restricted diet does not sound like any fun at all, but…again, I never showed any definite signs of insulin resistance, and cart way the hell ahead of the horse on that anyway.

One. day. at. a. time.    

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8 thoughts on “Still alive!

  1. Andrea M. says:

    My feelings on the drugs are thus: if there is no harm in continuing on them, why not just continue? I think the most recent and definitive studies show that the met is either beneficial or neutral post 12 weeks. As to the lovenox, I have a strong belief that we will discover that just because our current blood testing shows things to be "normal," it does not mean that clotting is actually normal. I think this is shown through the hundreds of women with IUGR who present with elderly, clotted placentas, with no history of clotting disorders and who test normal on all genetic testing.I sort of have a vested interest in that one (2 years post pulmonary embolism).I am so super thrilled for you! Everything is screaming textbook right now. But don't be afraid to assert yourself– you are well read,educated, and intelligent– if you want to stay on the lovenox and the met, do the research and make your case. And I like Lightly Salted. And the story 🙂

  2. Good news! So happy for you. I definitely am in love with the nickname Frankie. Good to know s/he's still truckin'. Thanks for keeping us updated.

  3. Thanks for the backup, Andrea. I may lobby for staying on the meds, or some of them, but I'm willing to listen to reasons for going off of them, too. Part of me still wants to believe the fewer drugs the better, and part of me laughs really derisively at that notion. May depend a little on where I end up for OB care – not sure if my current ob/gyn even takes high risk pregnancies, or if I'll be considered one. I heard a rumor that she doesn't even deliver, but her husband (same practice) does. So we'll see. Out of curiosity, what do you think about heparin vs. lovenox? I'm not on lovenox – I didn't fight for it, because it's so much more expensive. Some people seem to think the lower molecular weight fractions are more effective, and some think it makes little or no difference. I wish cost weren't an issue, but…that's life. My life, anyway. If I'd been convinced it should have been lovenox and nothing else, I'd have pushed for it, but I just wasn't convinced.Mikey – thanks! And HAHAHA, yes, looks familiar. Do you remember this episode? I couldn't really remember how old we were, so I didn't know if you would or if you'd have been just looking at us like we were crazy anyway.Thanks, Amelia! I like Frankie too, but I think it will change often. Shocking that I can't decide, huh? Haha…doesn't bode to well for trying to pick a REAL name!

  4. Mrs. Misfits says:

    Fantastic news on the peanut of the light salt! Frankie lives indeed. I am wishing all sorts of normal, boring progress from here on out. Congratulations!

  5. Thanks, Misfits! The exact same to you and Ocho!

  6. MikeyIaco says:

    I don't remember Dad saying it, but I can imagine ways he would to make us laugh. I definitely remember being excited about peanuts, though. Food usually excites me.

  7. We must have been pretty little. I just remember laughing uncontrollably…like, even now it makes me laugh a little. Agreed on the food. More than usual, even, lately. The queasiness doesn't keep me from wanting MOAR NOMNOMNOM.

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