6w0d u/s

13 mm gestational sac.  Spot that looks “suspicious” of a yolk sac.  Too small to see a fetal pole or a heartbeat. Could be normal, yes, in theory.  My RE was clearly trying very hard to be encouraging and optimistic, saying that it looks “on track.”  But (goddamn doctor google) it seems that 13 mm is the very top end of the range in which you can see the gestational sac and not yet a yolk sac and it still be a viable pregnancy.  So I’m one measly millimeter and a semantic debate over the word suspicious away from a blighted ovum.  Not too comforting. Could I ever just be in the safe range?  Ever?  I’ve seen SO MANY reports from women who see strong heartbeats at six weeks.  Last time it measured 5w6d (really wish I knew what the gestational sac measured in mm) and had a slow heartbeat.  Feels doomed.  Now I feel like every twinge that I had been taking as reassuring is really just a cramp foretelling the end, and that it’s only the progesterone supplementation that’s holding off bleeding.  I’d been doing REALLY well about not obsessing over checking for spotting so far, but methinks the next eight days are going to be different.  I truly just about had myself convinced that it was only terrible timing that killed off all the others. That I just needed the Clo.mid to ovulate at the right time to get the progesterone production to a sufficient level. Signs don’t seem to point to that yet.  But maybe just maybe I can still squeak by and be one of the ones who’s tortured week by week yet gets to week eight or nine before everything somehow suddenly looks perfect after all. Maybe. Maybe not.  Maybe.


7 thoughts on “6w0d u/s

  1. Heather says:

    I am one week ahead of you and had my 5w6d scan last week thursday. We didn't hear the heartbeat either. I know we can't help worrying, but I think it's gonna be ok. I know at my 8 week scan I'll hear that heart beat. And you too!!!take care of yourself!

  2. Thanks….trying to soak up your optimism. Finding it really hard to muster any of my own right now. I hope you're right for both of us!

  3. Jennifer says:

    Stopping by to send positive thoughts your way. Any chance your RE can send you to radiology? They were able to see much more earlier than she was.

  4. Kelly says:

    I hope that these next eight days go by quickly or that you can get in earlier. It's so incredibly difficult.Please try to do anything you can to keep yourself busy. I know, I know. That sounds just awful. I've been through it several times and drove myself absolutely crazy. You're right, too…everything really could be just fine!

  5. Thanks, Kelly. Sort of hard to believe I'm the one that even wrote that. I have to admit it's possible, but I can't say it's making up the majority of my feelings. Yes, will try to stay busy.Jennifer, thank you for the thoughts too. I don't know if that's an option or not. Part of me wants to wait knowing that the longer I can go the more the chance we'd see a significant difference (or that a negligible difference would be more conclusive) and the other part of me may just write the nurse an email and ask because the uncertainty is already driving me past batty.

  6. Mrs. Misfits says:

    The maybe situation is a special kind of tortured limbo. You could have had late fertilization and late implantation. Doom is always foremost in the mind, so getting anything but glowing news will feel rotten. I have hope for you that this will be the story to work out. I made a pact to not do the SIX weeker after being tortured so many times. I'm still going to back plan A all the way. Hang in there, and distraction is great advice!

  7. Andrea M. says:

    Not sure which is more torturous, the optimism or the pessimism. I think "tortured limbo" is exactly the right way to call it. Thinking about you.

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