Rusty Mush

Those boon times went bust
My feet of clay, they dried to dust
The red isn’t the red we painted
Its just rust
And the signature thing
That used to bring a following
I have trouble now
Even remembering

So why did I kiss him so hard
Late last Friday night
And keep on letting him change all my plans
I’m either so sick in the head
I need to be bled dry, to quit
Or I just really used to love him
I sure hope thats it

I knew that to keep in touch
Would do me deep in dutch
Cuz it isn’t the rush of remembering
Its just mush
And the signature thing
Is only growing harrowing
I should have no trouble now
To keep from following

So why did I kiss him so hard
Late last Friday night
And keep on letting him change all my plans
I’m either so sick in the head
I need to be bled dry, to quit
Or I just really used to love him
I sure hope thats it

Those boon times went bust
My feet of clay, they dried to dust
The red isn’t the red we painted
Its just rust
And the signature thing
That used to bring a following
I have trouble now
Even remembering

So why did I kiss him so hard
Late last Friday night
And keep on letting him change all my plans
I’m either so sick in the head
I need to be bled dry, to quit
Or I just really used to love him
Or I just really used to love him
Or I just really used to love him
I sure hope that’s it 

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Ass, kicked.

I’ve backslid.  Or moved past denial or something.  I’m so fucking angry.  It’s so petty, unjustified, etc.  But I can’t stop the rage, much.  Apparently and obviously, I’ve had a pretty fucking easy life.  So now that one thing isn’t going to work itself out the easy way, I want to stomp my feet and throw myself on the ground and gnash my teeth and rend my garments and pitch a big fucking toddler temper tantrum fit.  Classy.

I’m going to have to put a moratorium on crackbook, too.  I can’t handle the happy mommy updates right now.  It’s not the babies.  Still like the babies.  But the happy pregnant ladies talking about ultrasounds and heartbeats and decorating nurseries are going to make me vomit.  Perhaps, literally.  This is dumb.  I should just WORK.  I’m at WORK.  Can’t seem to focus on it, because it also pisses me off, yea and verily.  All just seems rather fucking pointless right about now.  I probably just need a nap.  Not going to happen within the next eight hours or so, so I should either have some coffee and try to find my fake face and turn this aggrieved frown upside down or…something.  Yeah, that actually might be my only option.  MEH.

Goooo, Team Sadface!

I’ll refrain from putting up my pic of the sad faced wooden spoon.  Apparently people hate that.  Or something.


Please please please
No more melodies
They lack impact, they’re petty
They’ve been made up already
Please please please
No more maladies
I’m so tired of crying
You’d think I was a siren
But me and everybody’s on the sad same team
And you can hear our sad brain screaming

Give us something familiar
Something similar
To what we know already
That will keep us steady
Steady
Steady going nowhere

Please please please
No apologies
At best they buy you time
Until you next step out of line
Please please please
No more remedies
My method is uncertain
It’s a mess but it’s working
And maybe if you tried it out
You won’t like it when you’re crying out

Give us something familiar
Something similar
To what we know already
That will keep us steady
Steady, steady
Steady going nowhere

Please please please
No more melodies
They lack impact, they’re petty
They’ve been made up already
Please please please
No more maladies
I’m so tired of crying
You’d think I was a siren
But me and everybody’s on the sad same team and
You can hear our sad brain screaming

Give us something familiar
Something similar
To what we know already
That will keep us steady
Steady, steady, steady, steady
Steady going nowhere

Please please please
No apologies
At best they buy you time
Until you next step out of line
Please please please
No more remedies
My method is uncertain
It’s a mess but it’s working
And maybe if you want to try it out
You won’t like it when you’re crying out

Give me something familiar
Somethin’ similar
To what we know already
That will keep us steady
Steady, steady
Steady going nowhere 

GiST

  1. A break in the humidity sufficient to keep the windows open all day, all night
  2. Sleeping well and soberly and for eight or so hours for once
  3. Realizing I’m not trapped; I have options.
  4. Realizing that my employment hardly defines me – it’s just a job.
  5. I can make it another two weeks to get some more answers.  Or, not.  Food for thought, anyway.  Information is useful, generally.

I wouldn’t know what to do with another chance
If you gave it to me
I couldn’t take the embrace of a real romance
It’d race right through me

I’m much better off the way things are
Much much better off, better by far, by far

I wouldn’t know what to say to a gentle voice
It’d roll right past me
And if you chalk it up you’ll see I don’t really have a choice
So don’t even ask me

I’m much better off, the way things are
Much much better off, better by far

So keep on calling me names, keep on, keep on
And I’ll keep kicking the crap ’till it’s gone
If you keep on killing, you could get me to settle
And as soon as I settle, I bet I’ll be
Able to move on

How can I fight, when we’re on the same side
How can I fight beside you

So keep on calling me names, keep on, keep on
And I’ll keep kicking the crap ’till it’s gone
If you keep on killing, you could get me to settle
And as soon as I settle, I bet I’ll be
Able to move on

So keep on calling me names, keep on, keep on
And I’ll keep kicking the crap ’till it’s gone
If you keep on killing, you could get me to settle
And as soon as I settle, I bet I’ll be
Able to move on