Interesting

Been eating and drinking pretty well here in Baltimore.  Family conflict however of course rears an ugly head.  Their new loft apartment is BRILLIANTLY gorgeous and everything you would expect from a luxury complex – young, hot, hungry yuppies everywhere you turn.  Great place to people watch and party, but I myself would not want to live in a place with bedrooms lacking a fourth WALL.  I find it hilarious that the bedrooms even have doors that lock, because, really, what’s the point?  I mean, gorgeous view of the harbor to fall out and wake up to, but certainly an apartment for singles or a couple without kids or roommates.  Or, very tolerant roommates if any.  Rich kids’ place.  Cute.  But…yeah.  A bit impractical for me, and that’s saying something.  And we’ve apparently outstayed our welcome, in one fairly prominent respect (as if.  you think I’ll call you for bail if I get picked up?  You think a lingering smell from my POCKET will cause you to fail a drug test?  BAD SCIENCE.  Not as though I’m taking bong rips in your living room).  Disrespect’s come back around in turn, of course, and to a certain extent I can respect house rules, but something tells me it’s about more than that, so I’m sorely tempted to make hotel reservations at an establishment closer to the airport for tomorrow night, and let my husband enjoy his birthday as he sees fit.  We did in fact take vacation days and buy plane tickets to be here, to help family move from one city and state to others, and I’m not making Mike spend hours of his day at Costco  (WELCOME, I LOVE YOU) so you can spend less on TP and paper towels all the while bitching about how much you have to pay in rent, and the extra for the pet deposit, and parking for your Jetta and truck nutz, and seafood dinners out AT YOUR SUGGESTION and on and on and on.  You’ve stood your ground, now we’ll quietly and respectfully stand ours.  Sweet dreams.  You snore.  Loudly.

Progress, Perhaps

I guess I believe it.  Not in complete denial anymore.  Definite anger.  Really?  Leave a voicemail saying, “Nothing’s, WRONG, just make sure you call first thing Monday morning.  The doctor has some things she needs to go over with you”???? Is that supposed to put my mind at ease?  FAIL.  Fuckkkkk.

Whatever.  It is what it is.  Maybe some sleep will help.  Can’t hurt to try.

Take it back twelve years. Sure, why the hell not make it worse?

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance 
For the break that will make it ok
There’s always some reason to feel not good enough 
And it’s hard at the end of the day 
I need some distraction oh beautiful release 
Memories seep from my veins 
They may be empty and weightless and maybe 
I’ll find some peace tonight 

In the arms of an Angel fly away from here 
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear 
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie 
You’re in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here 

So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn 
There’s vultures and thieves at your back 
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies 
That you make up for all that you lack 
It don’t make no difference, escaping one last time 
It’s easier to believe 
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness 
That brings me to my knees 

In the arms of an Angel far away from here 
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear 
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie 
In the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here 

You’re in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here 


(lyrics via)

Yeah, more of that, please. Sir.

Well I was sitting, waiting, wishing
You believed in superstitions
Then maybe you'd see the signs

The Lord knows that this world is cruel
I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool
Learning lovin' somebody don't make them love you

Must I always be waiting, waiting on you
Must I always be playing, playing your fool

I sang your songs, I danced your dance
I gave your friends all a chance
But putting up with them
Wasn't worth never having you

Maybe you've been through this before
But it's my first time so please ignore
The next few lines cause they're directed at you

I can't always be waiting, waiting on you
I can't always be playing, playing your fool

I keep playing your part
But it's not my scene
Want this plot to twist
I've had enough mystery
Keep building it up
Then shooting me down
But I'm already down

Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting
Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting

Well, if I was in your position
I'd put down all my ammunition
I'd wonder why'd it taken me so long

But Lord knows that I'm not you
And if I was, I wouldn't be so cruel
Cause waitin' on love aint so easy to do

Must I always be waiting, waiting on you
Must I always be playing, playing your fool

No, I can't I always be waiting, waiting on you
I can't always be playing, playing your fool
(lyrics via)