I got an amusing and kind of amazing friend request on Facebook a while back.  A kid (now man, apparently, obviously – Hi, Dan!) I used to babysit for.  Totally threw me for a loop, because I recognized the name right away, and probably would have recognized his little sister, as their parents still live in the same neighborhood as mine; she and her mom brought over cookies one Christmas not more than a few years past.  But seeing him even in photos as a 23 year old fully bearded and long-haired apparent father of two adorable little boys, who also plays bass for a “Death/Thrash metal band called Chaotic Divinity” and also has a “one-man grindcore band called Fetus Omelet,” instead of as a quiet, well-behaved-for-the-sitter little six or seven year old little dude, well, I’m sorry, I had to take a moment.  Not that I had any reason to expect him to become some buttoned up wearing a tie everyday grownup dude; be who you wanna be, every boy and girl.  I expanded my own musical tastes in his childhood home, sitting on his parents’ couch in shock, watching MTV announce and rehash and rehash and rehash Cobain’s death (no cable at Dad’s house, no way, no how, not ever gonna happen).  Anyway, I take the moment, poke around.  Found some band names I just have to share.  Now, perhaps these are widely known at least in some circles and I’m just an old fogey, but either way you have to admire the…um, creativity?

  • Agoraphobic Nosebleed
  • Anal Blast
  • Impaled Nazarene
  • Dying Fetus
  • Napalm Death
  • Cattle Decapitation
  • Meat Shits

4 thoughts on “Flashback

  1. Bazarov says:

    Napalm Death is the only one I've heard of. They've been around quite a while. There was another band that simply went by Death: they were a good band, as long as you ignored the screaming. Hmm…what other band names? Obituary. Nailbomb. The Knives. Helmet. Sleepytime Gorilla Museum. Mr. Bungle. Morbid Angel…lots of odd band names out there. Oh, one of my favorites: Idiot Flesh.

  2. Oh yeah, there were like thirty others listed on his page, I recognized about half of them. These were just the choicest ones, I thought at the time. How about these: Soilwork, Old Man's Child, In Flames, Superjoint Ritual, Blood Has Been Shed, Spineshank, Bleeding Through, Deicide, It Dies Today, Nothingface, 3 Inches of Blood, Aborted, Bloodbath, The Sins of Thy Beloved, Atrocity….on and on and on. I don't know what to think about the fact I've actually heard of Cannibal Corpse. These things just crack me up.

  3. Bazarov says:

    How did I forget about Deicide or Cannibal Corpse? I listened to Deicide a shitload in jr. high…it's what help keep people away from me 🙂 Atleast it was good for something. Ha!

  4. Snort. Well, we all thank you for not just resorting to not showering, if that's what you were going for!

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