Two Things

I just had to share, because this cracks me up to no end:

So anyway, I’m sitting in bed in my red underwear and I’m feeling and looking quite bloated. I don’t have a shirt on or anything else for that matter. I just got done scarfing down about a pound of Brisket and some Chicken Wings. Lately I’ve noticed that my teeth haven’t been as white as they used to be, so tonight I decided to try Crest Whitestrips. I can’t talk without drooling on myself. I haven’t shaved my shoulders or trimmed my chest hair in a while, so my torso is starting to resemble a Cardigan Sweater. I’m wearing my glasses. My angelic wife just removed a piece of glass from the bottom of my right foot with a pin. I whined like a little bitch the entire time. Earlier in the day, my almost three year old daughter, asked me to fart on her head, so I did…

And in the very same post, Mr. Out-Numbered also give us a link to perhaps the best moments ever of daytime television.  You’re welcome.


11 thoughts on “Two Things

  1. Rachael Ray needs to stop the looking and go back to cooking!

  2. None of them maintained much composure there, eh? At least they actually talked TO the models, I guess. I'm grasping for straws to say this isn't just eight kinds of wrong, but I don't think I'm finding much.

  3. Bazarov says:

    "This one looks like Orlando Bloom!" This one? Ha!

  4. Yeah, pretty bad. Just goes to show….

  5. Bazarov says:

    …that half naked people make sexists out of most people?

  6. I was just thinking that it goes both ways, but yours might work as well.

  7. suntzusays says:

    So half-naked people are sexists?

  8. Totally depends on the person.

  9. Bazarov says:

    Ha! Nominative-accusative confusions are funny. I think the point I was trying to make was that attractive, half naked people arouse the deeper parts of our brains, parts our prefrontal cortices usually have better control over. Put a beautiful woman in a bikini or a male model in briefs infront of those attracted to them and the observers start looking at them more as sexual objects and less as individuals who prefer to be seen more than simply as a receptacle or protrusion for complimentary genitalia.

  10. Ah. Gotta love "college talk for horny."Erotically Charged

  11. Sweet. I totally just learned some HTML.

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