Make it work.

Last night we finally broke into Project Runway Season 5 on DVD. Yes, we. That’s love. I love Tim Gunn, Heidi Klum, Michael Kors, Nina Garcia, and the fact that while these marathons are usually solo ventures for me, undertaken during football season while Mike spends elevendy billion hours consumed with a sport I could really not care less about, he’ll totally watch with me if he’s here. Perhaps only to bolster his own sense of red blooded obnoxiously heterosexual maleness in comparison to most (though not all; I love when the most flamboyantly gay designer saying girlicious every five seconds has to roommate-it with the most hardcore rock’n’roll leather but only if it’s black designer dude) of the male designers on the show, but all the same. Oh yeah, I’m sure Heidi has something to do with it. Plus, everyone’s a critic when watching Project Runway, that’s kind of the point, and who doesn’t love to criticize stuff they know hardly anything about? Fashion’s like that, you just know what you like, if you know nothing else. Anyhow, it’s nice to have another person in the room so my commentary is not just wasted on the walls (did he just tell Tim Gunn to holla atchya boy? He needs to leave). Not only do I get to critique the designers, their garments, their commentary and general personhood, but I get to critique Mike’s commentary too. Which is particularly hilarious when they bring on a guest judge (Natalie Portman, in this instance) so he actually knows who more than one person on the runway is.

Mike: Oh, that is fugly.
Me: But not the fugliest.
Mike: He might just need an ass-kicking.
Me: Violence is never the answer.
Mike: Aww, look, Natalie’s all crying that they had to kick him off. She’s so sweet.
Me: How you going to say he needs his ass kicked yet think it’s adorable for her to mourn his fashion passing? Double standard.
Mike: …
Me: Seriously. We’re in our third hour of Project Runway here. Your testicles are still attached. Let it go. Say Auf Wiedersehn to your macho bullshit, mkay? Heidi doesn’t like it.
Mike: Okay.
Ahhh, the power of Heidi.
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4 thoughts on “Make it work.

  1. Julia says:

    Steve has started watching this season's Project Runway with me. He forgot himself so much this week that he got positively huffy when he told me that design A "is just more WEARABLE" than design B. WEARABLE. I love it.Now I am wracking my brains trying to remember who Natalie Portman sent home. Was it the eco challenge when they used car filters and floor mats? Now I have to go wait fifteen minutes for Bravo to run the episode again.Take care.

  2. Yeah, this morning we watched the last episode on the disc and i realized we watched so many last night that I totally mixed up two episodes – it was a woman they sent home when Natalie Portman was on. It was the "look of your choice inspired by a night on the town in NYC," where they made them all get on the double-decker bus in the rain. Wearing ponchos. So I guess I took some poetic license above. Thanks for reading and commenting! Now I have to go have a big dork moment of OMG JULIA JUST COMMENTED ON MY BLOG. I must say I've loved your writing for years. Tickled pink that you read here at all!

  3. Your boy needs to train my boy.

  4. Hmm, I dunno. You don't want to go creating a monster, now.

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