Because I am a delicate flower.

Today has been a waste. Jet lag is weird. Still, glad to be home, though the thought of another work week beginning tomorrow is utterly exhausting. All in all, had a deliriously good time. Only a couple things I wont miss. First, the hard water. Was taking about three times the quantity of the same conditioner that, used at home, makes my hair feel like pure silk to even be able to drag a wide toothed comb through it and not make me cry. I wonder if that has anything to do with the tendency of many German women to keep their hair very short. Second, chicken or egg question for you: do you think Germans have always been hardasses, or is did that start only after they started making toilet paper like that?

No, the Germans were very nice and hospitable. Especially the German-Italians. But the toilet paper is scary. Only one place we went (I guess I tend to pee nearly everywhere I go, is that odd?) had the typical cheap one-ply you see in every public restroom in the states. Mostly everywhere, it’s like that Brawny paper toweling you can repeatedly wet, wring out, and scrub an entire kitchen with. Seriously. Exactly like that. One bier garten had no paper towels by the sink, but using the toilet paper to dry your hands? Not at all an absurd idea, as it would be here. Exactly like a not-shitty-cheap paper towel here. Weird. So yeah, sorry. I’m not quite back up to speed yet. I made a point to carry a little notebook and jot down funny things and notables, all wannabe-writerish, so I do have semi-coherent things to say about the experience, but right now all that comes to mind are the basics and the most basic differences and I have not even unpacked my phone charger, let alone found that little notebook. Best food thing about being home? Beef. No room for good grazing, still scared as shit about mad cow disease = no good beef. Too bad, so sad. Best German food thing? Hmm. Too many. The abundance of Italian food, hah. The actual cream-colored cream for kaffe. The constant option of mit oder ohne when offered water. Mayo proffered under the title of French fry sauce. The chocolates on my pillow. Oh, the chocolates. Red wine served by the liter. My friend places the order, and the waiter asks what I’ll be drinking. Hah. I think that should get us going to start. If you finish the liter, they bring prosecco, gratis. Pretty fucking sweet.
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9 thoughts on “Because I am a delicate flower.

  1. suntzusays says:

    How'd you deal with the jet lag? I prefer the system of just not sleeping until what you consider a normal time to retire for an evening. But then, I hate sleep so going without it for a few extra hours to get back on a rhythm with local time isn't that big a deal. And I think I share Jules' reaction to the mayonnaise drowning french fries habit. I'd rather dip them in chocolate if I'm going to eat them at all (also if chocolate approved of me as much as I approve of it). Europeans have some lovely habits (along with accents and language), but some things in culture shouldn't be approved of carte blanche. The toilet paper issue is more a product of American creature comforts being favored over environmental issues. I think most European countries often use mostly recycled paper which has a different consistency for example. Though if it comes down to which causes which, Arminius and his Germanic tribesmen completely decimated 3 Roman legions at the height of Rome's imperial powers (~Augustus 9CE). And Bismarck's "Blood and Iron" speech is pretty famous. I'm pretty sure the hardass features predate the existence of cushy toilet paper as a result.

  2. Let's see… we spent half the day delayed in Dayton, so arrived midday rather than midmorning as planned. Got to the hotel, napped a few hours, then went out, found some food, crashed. Next day was brutal, but I honestly made better living via chemistry. Either Benadryl or Advil PM to force a sleepiness at a time zone appropriate-ish time. That plus coffee and libations at their also time zone appropriate hours reset my system in a reasonably recognizable fashion. Totally the opposite of the healthy recommendations, but whatever. Avoid alcohol and caffeine? No thank you.I like the mayo on fries, but only if adjacent to some good mustard. That did draw comment from the Germans. They used ketchup, too, but I'm like the Sling Blade dude. Mustard, mmmhmmm. I knew you'd know the best historical examples to counter my rhetorical question. I suppose I had an impression that German badassery went way, way back, but…yeah, totally coulda googled that for myself if I had any sense today. I figured it was recycled, but it still strikes as odd, to see something so often that it must be cheap, but so similar to something here that's not cheap – the more expensive paper towels. Probably a good profit margin on those here.

  3. suntzusays says:

    There's also always re-usable toilet wipes on the eco-scale of crazy. Though of course you were in public places where those are not as hygienic to have to worry about this over the quality and coarseness of recycled paper. I am always good for a random military/political history lesson that a google search would turn up in less time. It's good to have complete command of thoroughly useless knowledge. I totally don't understand the fascination with ketchup either. BBQ sauce and mustard are about the only condiments that have a place in a refrigerator. Some salad dressing. And then just move along down that grocery aisle.

  4. Ewwww…I think I coulda gone my whole life not knowing that those exist. BBQ is also kinda ew, but I know I'm rare on that.

  5. suntzusays says:

    Eh. People didn't always have disposable diapers as a technological improvement for cleaning up after babies. Some people still use cloth or a mix of the two. Really the only concern is public toilets and the lack of a hygienic effect there. That and it's just not as convenient as lugging a 40 pack of bathroom tissue around a store.

  6. True. Somehow seems acceptable for those who can't clean up after themselves, but while traveling? Not smart. Hate to imagine how that went before Ziploc baggies, too. Yech. Yeah, I've read that in public restrooms you're better off actually to wash your hands BEFOREhand. Scarily, makes sense. I never pass up the opportunity for handwashing, though. I lean a little Howard Hughes that way.

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