Fun with Search Terms

I went back all the way on these, so pardon any repeats.

  • parents think that i’m a gold digger. Are you? This sounds familiar. If you really searched for this three times and thought I might be able to clarify that for you, perhaps it’s so.
  • pasqua con chi vuoi. Put one in your saddlebag, too.
  • thea lux. Yes, she rocks pretty hard.
  • “listen to celine dion “you make me feel like a natural woman” I’d advise against that, if at all possible. Seriously. You’ll be sorry.
  • “pick up a motorcycle” I’ve got one you can have for a few grand.
  • “weekend intervention program” Get a driver, STAT.
  • 5bd028b33a9f61cff76c01d45837c93e. Allllrighty then.
  • “appraisal came in low should I renegotiate” Good luck with that. I hope you can. Might be easier to get another appraisal, but careful not to shoot yourself in the foot, so to speak.
  • bionic ion. Sob.
  • catholic motivation slob. I don’t think religion will help that.
  • fire muster funny names. Ahh. Nodding.
  • drinks with the name gold in them. That’s no criteria. Expand your horizons.
  • hate the word fiance. Then you’ll love being husband and wife. Best wishes!
  • honor thy husband. I don’t think that one’s in the commandments. Probably for good reason, though all things being equal it’s not a terrible idea.
  • how to give a girl hand. Um, I’m guessing you’re not thinking about a round of applause here. Best wishes to you as well.
  • hy do brits call vigina a fanny. I don’t think that’s quite right, though I can’t quite put my finger on it. You probably can’t either.
  • my mommy drinks too much alcohol. I’m sorry. Try Al Anon.
  • photos of italians tending sheep. Awesome; send ’em my way!
  • pirate name’s for kids. Please. Don’t do that. The day of your child’s birth is not Talk Like a Pirate Day. No. Don’t.
  • recurring credit card insane. I feel ya.
  • rumplemints, jaeger, goldschlager. Ew, okay in case of emergency, ew.
  • something about pigs. Well, here’s what I learned from the movie Snatch (I highly recommend watching it with the subtitles – I missed half of the hilarity the first seven or so times). Regarding disposal of a body, according to Brick Top: ‘And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it’s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig.”‘
  • stick it where the sun shines. Well, you should have lots of options.
  • will potato peeling stop up your garbage disposal. Yes, indeed it will. If you’re lucky it won’t migrate to the bathrooms. Big fun!

6 thoughts on “Fun with Search Terms

  1. suntzusays says:

    I don't need subtitles for Snatch. It's in English after all. They speak the same goddamn language, just better than we do over here. And you're not supposed to understand the Pikers anyway.

  2. suntzusays says:

    Incidentally, FSF only took one of the 3 you submitted.

  3. Well you are a gentleman and a scholar, good sir. I can't always decipher the accents I love so much. I could listen all day and not understand one complete thought but still be totally happy. Unfortunately it's not only the Pikers. I didn't have a clue what that movie was even about for the first few times I saw it. Sad.

  4. I think the other two might have been submitted after Friday at noon, so they might still show up next week.

  5. suntzusays says:

    It's more of a pitch detection subroutine programmed into my brain thing than studying the place. I noticed it also when my friend's wife was trying to explain the difference between two Thai phrases that he couldn't tell the difference between which sounded almost exactly alike. And in that case it was rather important to be able to tell the difference. If you think deciphering dialects and accented English is hard, try almost any SE Asian language or most of Polynesian languages. I can be humbled at times.

  6. Yeah, I remember that from the Japanese culture/sociology/whatever they called it class I took – just that like you said somewhere else recently, there are tones for each sound that designate meaning. Which I would indeed think makes it rather difficult to speak with much emphasis or tonal implications. But I guess not if it's your first language.

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