So we’ve started catching up on Big Love. Weird. Very weird. But that’s my own weirdness, I suppose, and I think most of that is due to Bill Paxton himself. Or just Mormon-aversion from reading dooce. I remember from my gen ed sociology class in college that very few cultures practice one-wife-multiple-husband polygamy, polyandry, but many practice the inverse, polygyny, basically better known as plain old polygamy. Let’s see, let me google that for myselft….and…yes. The only example I can recall is Tibet. But of course, there are more. Fascinating that it seems to be a phenomenon of desperation for the most part, while depictions of the classic polygamy situation sort of breed desperation. Polygyny’s wikipedia article is much longer, on the whole, I assume mostly due to there being more instances of and thus more controversy attached to the practice, controversy especially in the western world due to the fundamentalist Mormon sects. Maybe. Anyway, after reading at Feministe about Frau Sally’s arrangements, I tried to wrap my own mind around it, polyamory, either way. I just don’t think I’ve ever felt compersion, let alone known it was a thing you could find on wikipedia. I mean, is that really something you’d ever spontaneously just feel, or something you’d have to try pretty hard to talk yourself into..? Granted, I come from a culture in which monogamy is the ideal, at least superficially. I probably just have way too much Bill Paxton in my head, but it seems to me that whole thing is just sanctioned cheating…so it’s not cheating. Or something. And yet, there’s still cheating. The whole subplot (Spoiler Alert, as if) of hubby having lunchtime quickies with the first wife, even on the other two wives “nights” is so….weird to me. In the end they just had to break it off, it was the right thing to do, and it was kind of heart-wrenching, yet….they’re still married! Weird. Because the whole point of cheating being cheating is the surreptitious part, no? In this little foursome, the women all KNOW he’s sleeping with all of three of them; they arrange the schedule themselves according to who’s ovulating when! But the hottest (if you could call it that, BILL’S ASS) parts are when he’s fucking one in the other one’s bed, using her words (blue eyes), and when he carries on the “affair” with the original wife, and they of course feel horribly guilty about it. Because that’s the attraction, yeah? Mostly. The wrong part. Because you think it’s wrong. You anticipate the guilt. Whatever. I don’t know where I’m going with this one. Just been a lot of multiple lovers going across my screens. It squicks me out, to see such direct honesty about it, as in Big Love, but perhaps that’s more the presentation in a situation comprised mostly of patriarchy with a few obligatory feminist-ic undercurrents in there in order to try to not be totally offensive. I just can’t imagine sitting down with a person that I love, or even one in another hypothetical life that I even thought I maybe could love, and being all, meh, go on, enjoy. Have fun, be careful! No. That’s what you say to kids when they almost forget their mittens, not to your lover. Makes me feel narrow minded to say that, but I suppose knowing one’s own proclivities isn’t the same – I hope – as passing judgement on another. As always, whatever’s clever.