Matters, Matters Not

Lately I’ve been wondering if the kind of volunteer work I’m doing as a CASA is really just another version of violence voyeurism. Basically the same as rubbernecking at a horrific traffic accident or watching a disturbingly gory slasher film or reading about a family tragedy on a blog or in the news, plus the added closeness factor of the right to fully investigate the circumstances in the first person. Get the really good gossip without putting myself at real risk, physically or emotionally. One the one hand it seems certainly so; on the other hand it seems as though it makes no difference if my motivation is more thrill-seeking than do-gooding, though I of course wouldn’t want to admit that as a first instinct. Regardless, the outcome is generally the same – positive, thanks to the specific training and thoroughly ethical guidelines. But I still wonder.

Eye on the TV’cause tragedy thrills me/Whatever flavor it happens to be

Like:
“Killed by the husband” …/”Drowned by the ocean” …/”Shot by his own son” …/”She used a poison in his tea,
Then (she) kissed him goodbye”/That’s my kind of story/It’s no fun til someone dies.

Don’t look me at like I am a monster/Frown out your one face, but with the other (you)
Stare like a junkie into the TV/Stare like a zombie while the mother holds her child,/Watches him die,
Hands to the sky cryin “why, oh why?”

Cause I need to watch things die from a distance/Vicariously, I live while the whole world dies
You all need it too – don’t lie.

Why can’t we just admit it?:
We won’t give pause until the blood is flowin’
Neither the brave nor bold/Nor brightest of stories told
We won’t give pause until the blood is flowin’

I need to watch things die from a good safe distance/Vicariously, I live while the whole world dies
You all feel the same so why can’t we just admit it?

Blood like rain fallin’ down/Drum on grave and ground
Part vampire, part warrior,/Carnivore and voyeur/Stare at the transmittal./Sing to the death rattle.
….
Credulous at best/Your desire to believe in
Angels in the hearts of men./But pull your head on out (of) your hippie haze/And give a listen
Shouldn’t have to say it all again

The universe is hostile/So impersonal/Devour to survive/So it is, so it’s always been …

We all feed on tragedy./It’s like blood to a vampire./Vicariously, I live while the whole world dies
Much better you than I.

TOOL, 10K Days, Vicarious

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2 thoughts on “Matters, Matters Not

  1. hippee-lee says:

    +1. I don't think that most people think like that (TOOL) though. They see things with rose colored glasses, in the context of a disney movie where there are always happy endings and nicely tied up plots. Without realizing the huge difference between fiction/entertainment and the struggle to live, even in this modern world, we blind ourselves to the brutal nature of reality. We also blind ourselves to the raw beauty, on both sides of the coin, in the struggle to survive. Studying biology (the study of life) has shown me differently.

  2. I agree, I think…I was trying to use that sort of logic the other day to explain my transformation from believer to agnostic/atheistic. There's so much beauty and so much suffering in the world that I honestly think it balances out – just that most of the time an individual's perspective is focused mostly on one or the other. I see no point in attributing either side of the coin to something that may or may not control any part of it!

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