1. Various potential reasons why the hell the previous owner of our house put a chain lock on the outside of one of the bedroom doors. The carpet in that room had also been replaced while the rest of the living area had not been updated. Guantanamo outpost!
2. Quitting my job, even though I’m enjoying it more than ever. This is a lottery-winning fantasy, all the more absurd because we don’t actually buy lottery tickets.
3. Two pink lines.
4. Having another miscarriage.
5. Remodeling our kitchen so we’d have room for a dishwasher. Because I miss those inane arguments about who is and who is not loading it correctly.