Good times, bad times

I’m inspired slash encouraged slash crying to read the latest Gone Feral Lent post.

The past few days of warmer weather have done miracles for my mood. Yet. Small little things, tiny things, things the doctor says some women might not have even noticed. These are not complete sentences. As feral mom says, this is no MFA thesis. I was not in a bathtub. There was no pain, thank brevity. Physical pain, anyhow. I was in line at the bank. I think I think too much.

Note to self: Deposit paycheck at the bank. Tomorrow. I’ll love ya, tomorrow. Red curly hair.

May as well continue my train of thought: I remember getting a big fat bonus at work that week. Just after I’d announced my no longer wanting to work in the lab with the dangerous stuff. Boss says, “Big week for you!” It was! I thought we were doing the baby thing, there was going to be some money! For stuff! Like a crib or something equally hopeful! Perfect timing. I’m an idiot.

The only way, in my world, that that could have been any more ‘blood money,’ would have been non-spontaneous abortion. I’m glad we spent all that money in a hurry. Retail therapy. Bought nondurable goods only.

However. It would’ve been nice to have a couple hundred bucks of those couple grand stashed away for today. It hit seventy today and we got a gas bill for $200. How’s that saying go? If you don’t like the weather in Ohio, stick around. It’ll change, and quickly.

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3 thoughts on “Good times, bad times

  1. Feral Mom says:

    Sorry you had to go through this disappointment. It profoundly sucks. Thanks for sharing your story and your feelings about it, and I’m glad if my post helped in any way.

  2. AmeDame says:

    It absolutely did! As ‘common’ as m/c is (as has been pointed out to me), it still helps tons to know others have been there.

  3. Feral Mom says:

    Yeah, and hearing that it’s “common” really doesn’t help. At least, it didn’t help me. What did help was genuine sympathy/empathy from those who’d been there. Having yours helps me too. Thank you.

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