Okey dokey. Can’t get enough of that whine. I’m done with irony, don’t want anymore of it. How many things can come full circle all at once?

The bartender at the second bar in the story below turned out to be the little sister of the guy I was with when I met PM. The guy I straight-up dropped in order to be with PM. Didn’t really get much satisfaction from hearing that he’s exactly the same, still doing a lot of nothing. Really didn’t like hearing about their dad deteriorating due to MS. Ugh.

I hated to see the people that I used to hang out with on a regular basis still doing the same lame shit. I loved seeing that some of them had gotten very far away from that kind of shit. It’s really unsettling to confide in someone you think you trust, then see that look of satisfaction on his face indicating that he’s just a little pleased that you’re unhappy. Human nature, but not heartwarming.

I really hated to find out that someone I’ve known since first grade has become barbuds with someone at my work. Without stroking my own ego and thinking they talk much about me, I’m still sure that guy knows waaaaaay more about my past than I would care to disclose to a coworker.

Do I want to go closer to home, or should I go even further away? I still believe that you can pick your family. It occurred to me this weekend that, other than my own younger siblings, I’ve totally surrounded myself with only and oldest children. There’s something about that overachiever personality that I must be drawn to. It starts to wear on you after a while, though. We all expect an awful lot from one another. I think I’ve got plenty of unreasonable expectations of my own without trying to incorporate somebody else’s. It’s really hard to distinguish what I want for myself knowing that so many people who care about me would, by default, advise me otherwise. No matter what my decision is.

I should make some resolutions. Don’t usually like to set myself up for failure, but I guess I could just call them something else.


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