Hindsight

About a decade ago, I lost a friend to a boyfriend. Around that time, I refused to help her pay for an abortion she needed. It took me more than a year to realize that that pregnancy was not created by the person she claimed it was. Duh. I’ll never forget watching him help her try to get comfortable on the couch, thinking, “why’s he being so sweet?” Duh. As far as I know, they’re still together. I wish like hell I could let her know that I don’t hold anything against her. I wish I could give her a hug and tell her everything is okay. I wish I could go back and be more understanding when it mattered. Understanding now does neither of us much good.

Both The Rock’s and The Fonz’s experiences with mc have been absolutely priceless to me over the last three months. If I had listened to my mother when I was a teenager, I might have lost them as friends, and I hate to think where I might be right now without them. What I can’t resolve is how much I didn’t understand what they were going through when it happened to them. Both of them told me that, unless it happens to you, you just don’t understand. I hate to think what horribly insensitive things I might have said to them, thinking I was being helpful. I can’t remember anything specific, but if I did say anything stupid, they surely do remember. Hard to take back what you can’t recall, huh?

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