Riddle me this:

A man wants to become Catholic. His motivation is unclear to me. He and his wife rave about their parish having 45-minute-or-less Masses. But he’s really pissed that his non-Catholic brother doesn’t get all juicy at the idea of attending a THREE HOUR MASS in which he’ll be baptized, take his first Communion, and be confirmed. Really pissed. Like, to the point where he tells his brother to “Get some balls and have your bitch cut your hair; I’m just trying to do you a fucking favor!” Gee. I don’t want to go anymore, either!

The word catholic means ‘universal.’ Does a man who wishes to take on this faith as his own make comments like, “I don’t want to move to Saginaw, there’s too many fucking niggers?” Um, NO! HELL TO THE NO! Crack is whack, but this just Does. Not. Compute.

Does the catholic woman who doesn’t even go to Mass anymore because she’s got her own damn good reasons

a. say nothing, put on a dress, show up and smile

b. drag her husband along, too

c. ask him to explain his motivation before making this decision

d. go the fuck off and tell him that becoming catholic does not give him the right to be as big an asshole as he chooses

e. choose your own combination of the above options


2 thoughts on “

  1. Bazarov says:

    I’m confused. I look at it in a more opportunity cost manner. I’m reminded of this fake (maybe it wasn’t fake) church sign that said, “Stayin in bed and screaming ‘Oh God!’ on Sunday mornings doesn’t count as going to church.” I like that idea and think the time spent with a loved one in the sack is much better spent than sitting in a place where all the things that are said in those sorts of places are said. Equally, I think remaining unconscious, picking your nose, reading, masturbating, you name it is time better spent than going to church; that is, unless you have some other motive–like meeting singles with similar ideologies as yourself. I keep thinking it’d make a great title for a book about someone growing up atheist: It’s lonely Sunday mornings. I remember calling, every Sunday morning, my friends and then remembering only after no one answered that they were at church. Oh well, hanging out with the family watching Tom & Jerry was time better spent.

  2. Undecided says:

    That’s exactly how PM the economist sees it. I tend to think of it as a family matter. If his parents and her parents are going, then we should, too….but I certainly would like to discuss the matter with the candidate himself. My only problem there is not clobbering him in the midst of said discussion! I’ve also been told that I should just let PM decide and back him up….also good advice. But anyways, I like your title. Write it. I will buy it šŸ˜‰

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